Little Elm

reflection

i'm having kind of a low weekend.  feeling overwhelmed and exhausted.  i know, join the club.  i thought it might be a good idea to review what plans i had for myself this year from my 34 at 34 list to see if all these things that are overwhelming me are even things that i want to be contributing to my experience or not.  i have to learn to only allow in the things that work with my vision and goals for myself and family.  not that this list encompasses all of that but at least i have a sense of where i was in october compared to today.  i've used strikethrough and bold to show what I have been working on or done.  i have a ways to go!!

i'm finding this balance of trying to work full time and be a good mom and wife considerably harder than i ever thought it would be.  i never feel like i am ahead of the game anymore.  maybe i just never will be again and i am trying to get comfortable with that. 

as i saturate in this funk of a weekend i read a friend's status update, where she has been writing about each of her facebook friends in her status daily (cool project), and she wrote of me that "She is such a genuine sweetheart, it is fair to say I am a better person today because of our years of friendship.." how so very kind of her. this has helped to lift me up to want to be that person she remembers.  find the me that made me me again.  thank you missy!

here is the list update:

34.
34 at 34 inspired by mytopography

*happy bday to me*

1.take a trip with elm
2. not let work stress come home with me
3. do yoga at least 10 times (1X so far)
4. re-read romeo and juliet
5. make a chore wheel
6. develop more pictures of elm and fill the albums
7. establish an at least monthly date night with jay
8. figure out a better breakfast
9. submit one story/column to a magazine and see what happens
10. go to guelph
11. go to hamilton
12. bring elm to breakfast with her grandpa ron
13. bake cookies with elm
14. volunteer at least 5 times (1X so far)
15. take time to listen to 'this american life' with jay more
16. have lunch with my dad
17. move (so close!)
18. start something new
19. make something
20. perfect a chicken pot pie recipe
21. see my nieces and nephew more
22. build an meditation altar
23. build or buy a blog banner
24. buy a piece of art
25. camp at algonquin with elm
26. buy & eat more local food
27. advise one small business (started to but didn't get to finish)
28. become a regular at the library
29. support another mom returning to work after a maternity leave
30. become an active listener again
31. play videos and show pictures of jeanne to elm more often
32. donate to 'honour your hero' to thank dr. wallace for jay's brain surgery
33. plan a weekend away with friends
34. get a family photo done

rock the vote

now is time for you to get out and make a difference.  it is time to vote.  i'm a strong believer that  you can't complain unless you took the time to cast your ballot, so let's do this!

in case you are still wondering which way to vote, use this link to learn more about the candidates.  if you are on the fence and want to discuss  or aren't sure where to go to vote, call or email me and i'll see how i can help.

http://www.citywindsor.ca/003338.asp

'if there's nothing left to burn, you have to set yourself on fire' ~ stars

 

34.

34 at 34 inspired by mytopography

*happy bday to me*

1.take a trip with elm 2. not let work stress come home with me 3. do yoga at least 10 times 4. re-read romeo and juliet 5. make a chore wheel 6. develop more pictures of elm and fill the albums 7. establish an at least monthly date night with jay 8. figure out a better breakfast 9. submit one story/column to a magazine and see what happens 10. go to guelph 11. go to hamilton 12. bring elm to breakfast with her grandpa ron 13. bake cookies with elm 14. volunteer at least 5 times 15. take time to listen to 'this american life' with jay more 16. have lunch with my dad 17. move 18. start something new 19. make something 20. perfect a chicken pot pie recipe 21. see my nieces and nephew more 22. build an meditation altar 23. build or buy a blog banner 24. buy a piece of art 25. camp at algonquin with elm 26. buy & eat more local food 27. advise one small business 28. become a regular at the library 29. support another mom returning to work after a maternity leave 30. become an active listener again 31. play videos and show pictures of jeanne to elm more often 32. donate to 'honour your hero' to thank dr. wallace for jay's brain surgery 33. plan a weekend away with friends 34. get a family photo done

what goals do you have for yourself this year?

i typed the words 'best regards' for the first time in over a year while typing a work email today. i forgot how much i used to use those two words and it just felt like jumping back on a bike or a horse or whatever you are supposed to jump right back on. it is probably a better way to end an email than with twinkle twinkle or some of the other words i use so much these days. or is it...hmmm ;-)

words of wisdom

 

savour...or savor as she wrote it.  my favourite blogger yet again had words that hit home with me in her latest post. she, talking about savouring each moment as a family of three as they count down the days until their new baby arrives, in turn reminding me to savour each moment of these final weeks of my maternity leave.  i certainly am feeling very present in each moment with my little elm as the days count down to us having a very different life.

what is it that you are savouring right now?

affair in red square

today i feel like driving in a covertible on the mountainside roads of spain, wind whipping in my hair, listening to this song, sun soaked dust flying about behind me.  it is amazing what a little red nail polish can do for your psyche. try it and you'll see!

 

 

things i'm looking forward to..

 

..slow dancing with my husband on sunday

..watching my friend maria walk down the aisle and start the next stage of her life

..celebrating a new life at my friend lisa's baby shower

..learning how to greek dance on friday night

..getting a long overdue pedicure

..playing in a pile of leaves with elm

..finally making the trip out to an apple orchard or colasanti's with erin, little e and elm.

..going on a shopping spree for fall work clothes (hello banana!)

..seeing our old play group reunited at the joint birthday/ costume party at the end of the month

balancing act

                         all that yoga we have taken is finally paying off - ha ha

This month, my last month off, is feeling like a bit of balancing act.  Lots to do and lots of emotions to deal with.  Hopefully, I"ll come here more to help me get through it.  Elm's adjusting to her daycare visits and life is in full swing.  Wedding this weekend, baby shower the next...lots of joy coming up!

1 Year Old

Dear Elm,

Somehow I blinked and you are now a little girl.  A walking, talking, animated, game-playing, laughing, hugging, kissing, sweet as sweet can be little girl.  Everywhere we go and anyone we meet describes you with one word - happy.  I truly hope that is how people will describe you for the rest of your life. 

This has been a life changing year.  You have taken me away from the sea of chaos and let me see the world with new lenses.  A softer, slower, more beautiful world.  I thank you for that. 

I am so happy that I have come here to this space to breath and think about this crazy experience of motherhood.  I hope you enjoy reading the entries from your first year of life when you are older and maybe even when you become a mother.  If we could freeze time right now at this age and pause for a while, I would take it in an instant.   You are curious, fun and a pleasure to be around.  Like the book we read almost every day, little elm, I love you through and through.  

Here is a little video montage of your first year.  There are people missing from it that have been a big part of your life so far but we had to protect their privacy because they are little babies :-)  The song has no specific significance and really isn't about babies or love at all. I actually think I have read it is about the world coming to and end or something tragic like that.  It is though, raw and beautiful and that is what this first year has felt like for me. 

xo

Love Mummy

Little Elm turns One from Kristen Morris on Vimeo.

what i'd like to be doing on a beautiful day like today

Half Moon Bay, CA

"Reconnecting diners to the land and the origins of their food...Outstanding in the Field is a roving culinary adventure"  They even come to St. Catherines...but it is sold out this year.  Check it out!

Outstanding In The Field